I want the filling and transformation that the Holy Spirit brings. I want to live my life like it means something. I want to live without fear, indecision or impatience, when surrounded by a culture of relativity. I want the things that break the heart of God to break my heart, when the norm is to turn a blind eye and let someone else get involved. I want my actions to bring Him glory, when the actions of those who claim Christ's name (myself included) tend instead, to bring embarrassment to His name.
In the flesh, I can tell myself all sorts of lies. Like, I really don't know what God is calling me to do. But I know that His call starts with the committed reading of His Word and with prayer. It is true I have not had a verbal pronouncement from on high ( :)...) but if I seriously sought His presence through study and prayer, I bet I would know my next move at any given time. I would have the strength to deny myself the things that get in the way. I would find the energy and patience to proceed. I would find the courage to risk the outcomes that only God can know. I would then be aware of the progress the Holy Spirit is making in my heart.
I read this psalm this morning and I am going to try to keep praying it:
Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; then I'd never have any regrets in comparing my life with Your counsel.
~To God Be The Glory~
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